This post is somewhat related to my previous post on my Scheduling Issues.
Melanie really hit the nail on the head as far as expressing how I feel and how I’ve felt pretty much my whole life with this: “I feel uncomfortable if I am not busy. I wonder who I am, what does my life mean?”
I have always been a busy person. In high school, I joined lots and lots of clubs and activities. Not only did I join, but in my senior year I was president or captain of every single activity I was in. I also always had a plan of where I was going to go to college, what I was going to study, and ultimately what career I wanted to seek. Of course, my plans changed over time, but the point is, I always had plans.
In college I took way more hours every semester than required, I was able to graduate in 3 years because of this, plus I worked 30+ hours a week and wrote for the paper. I also had big plans for what I was going to do after graduation and “after things calmed down”.
Now that I’m done with school, I’m still busy. But, I currently have no “life plans”. I’ve bought a house. I have a job. I go to work, go to my activities, and go home. I can’t stand not being busy, but even though I am busy I have lately been questioning what does my life mean? Is there really nothing else to look forward to after this? I have always been one to be looking forward, but now I’m not sure what to look forward to. Of course, I do have goals: some of which I shared with you in December and I do look forward to becoming debt-free of course, but I don’t feel like that is an answer to life’s biggest question:
Why am I Here?
Photo courtesy of: Aldo Hoeben
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